Trauma revisited

It's hard not to come back to the trauma bay when you want great stories to entertain and impress. For many of us, if we could just do the trauma bay, and not have to deal with the riff-raff the next day, we, too would probably love trauma. In the "old days," ie, before lightening fast, very accurate CT scanners, the trauma bay was a lot more fun, too, because so much blunt trauma offered a chance to cut-- there was just no other way to see what was going on in that belly. Now, we can run the more or less stable patient through the Scanner, and rule out just about all of the operable trauma. Don't get me wrong, this is Great for the patient, it just sucks for the anxious, up and coming trauma surgeon who desperately wants to cut a hole in someone. And this is where penetrating trauma comes in, otherwise known as The Knife and Gun Club. While there are few outside sources of penetrating trauma, about 99% comes in the form of people trying to do away with other people, and the forementioned other people trying to prevent this. Predominantly, GangBangers. And this is where our tale takes us tonight. Now, keep in mind, GangBangers wear their surgical scars as badges of honor, and most of us who had any kind of KGC in their training have seen not just repeat, but 3peat customers. Their biggest fear, as they roll into the trauma bay, is, "Am I gonna get a bag?" referring to a colostomy, standard surgical treatment when someone rolls in with a hole in the colon.
Please let me insert a little disclaimer here. Gang violence, and the decay of the inner city, and urban violence, are all terrible blights upon the very fabric of our society. I do not make light of these serious problems. But, I can't fix these problems, and I don't think the government can fix these problems. The cure, when it comes, will come from within, very much like peace eventually came to Ireland when the civilians said, "enough is enough, STOP" In the meantime, those of us in the trauma bay can either cry or laugh. Since most of us have a pretty dark sense of humor, most of us laugh. And with that disclaimer, let's go live to the action:

Victim: "I'm shot! I'm shot! I'm shot!"
Doc: "Where? How many shots? Was the shooter in front or behind you?"
Vic: "My stomach! I don't know! I donno, I didn't see no one. I'm Shot! I'm Shot!"
Doc: "Slow down, take a deep breath. Let me see your belly. Do you hurt anywhere else?"
Vic: "I don't hurt no where else. Oh S**t, am I gonna get a bag, Doc?"
Doc: "I don't know yet. You're gonna feel a finger in your bottom, now" (to check for blood)
Vic: "YOU GONNA WHAT!!!???"
Doc: "OK, you've got some blood in your stools. We're gonna get some xrays, and then go
straight to the OR. We're gonna put a tube in your penis, now" (check for blood, and
monitor urine output)
Vic: "YOU GONNA WHAT!?!?!?!?!?"
Doc: "The xrays don't look good, you're shot pretty bad, we're going to the OR now"
Vic: "When you gonna take this tube out?" (referring to foley catheter in bladder)
Doc: "Sir, you've been shot, and are in rough shape, we're going to the OR now.
Vic: "When you gonna take this tube out?"
Doc: "Sir, we need to operate. You could die"
Vic: "When you gonna take this out?"

As you can see, the foley catheter pretty much ends any productive conversation. But, another member of the team has arrived, the police detective, who's job it is to arrest whoever did this. And so our discussion continues:

Officer: "Hey, Leon, didn't I just arrest you last week?"
Vic: "Yeah, but I got out again"
Off: "Leon, did you see the shooter?"
Vic: "Ahh, man, I didn't see nothing"
Off: "Well, did you even get a look at this guy?"
Vic: "Man, it was some dude. I ain't never seen him"
Off: "So just some dude. You sure you've never seen him? Maybe pick him out from some
mug shots?"
Vic: "Man, it was some dude. I ain't never seen him before."

About this time, we role Leon out, heading for the OR, and, if we're lucky, some really great surgery. And, if Leon is lucky, some really successful surgery.

All of us in the trauma bay know "Some Dude." He is, by all know accounts, the meanest, baddest, shooting-est character out there. If local law enforcement could remove just this single individual, the gun fire in the KGC would almost cease to exist. Of course, we all know we'll get to meet someone pretty close to his description within a day or so, when Leon's boys ask Some Dude to take out one of the rival gang's members. When he shows up in the trauma bay, yep, you guessed it: It was Some Dude. Damn, he is one bad asssed boy.